First, let me catch you up: We started this whole wheelchair process the summer of 2021. To be honest, we thought Atticus would rarely use the wheelchair. Just for long distances and bigger outings, that sort of thing. Around this time she also enrolled Atticus into physical therapy for muscle strengthening. We hoped that maybe all he needed was some assistance. In fact, I had many moments of doubt and suggested maybe we should hold off on his wheelchair altogether! As if I was holding my breath to see our boy just take off and "catch up" at physical therapy. So our providers nudged us towards a chair that would reflect this kind of ambulatory use. One even said, "even if it sits in the garage, you should have it."
This provider knew this would not just sit in the garage. But in that moment she saw my emotions under my appointment-game-face: uncertainty, confusion, and anxiety. I'm thankful for those words at that time.
And the Lord knew Atticus and what he needed too. And thus, our smaller, more convenient wheelchair was denied a handful of times in the last 8 months.
Well.. Physical therapy did not work either. If anything, it made him more tired and he missed even more simplicities of life. The reality of this disease settled in as our awareness grew. (It still is.) This is the thing about technically still being undiagnosed: there is no roadmap. Will his disease progress? Will he lose his ability to walk? Is his life span shortened? What organs are at risk? Questions we will not have answers to until we receive positive test results.
Just recently we have seen Atticus's condition become worse. His mobility has changed, things are getting harder and endurance is becoming smaller. To our hearts dismay, we see a big shift taking place,
Which is why the Lord denied the smaller chair so many times! We had to abandon that chair and request for a different one. A chair that seemed "too much" last year. But now standing on this side of time we know that this is the perfect chair for what he needs presently and in the future. Even so, now his WHOLE team thinks this one is the BEST option. We know the Lord provided for Atticus in His time and in His ways. Glory to God.
So you can imagine we are feeling
all the emotions. We are scared for his health and future but also grateful for him to receive a radical change of independence and quality of life. I can't describe it the tug and pull. One minute we are euphoric and the next our hearts are hurting and overwhelmed.
PS. I will always be thankful for all the beautiful donations of our community to make this chair, lift, and car happen. We think, talk, and thank the Lord for you everyday. This has left a permanent impact in our hearts.